opens and closes
I’m so surprised to discover how much loss I am experiencing in this stage of my life. I suppose I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. The numbers are adding up now: the friends who have moved their homes, the friends who have just plain moved on, and the other loved ones who are gone from this lifetime…
My cousin, Steve Johnson, passed away yesterday morning. He was only a couple of years older than I am. Even though many years have gone by since we last saw each other, in my mind’s eye, he is still the same eager and excited teenager from Georgia, “the mouth from the South”, who was so thrilled to come to glamorous Los Angeles, California to visit his Uncle Albert, Aunt Hope and Cousin Joy.
I’m not really sure how this life works; sometimes it’s so hard. It seems we just keep going on, loving and growing, opening and closing; our hearts like the hand in this poem:
Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror
up to where you’re bravely working.
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,
here’s the joyful face you’ve been longing to see.
Your hand opens and closes, and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open
you would be paralyzed.
Your deepest presence
is in every small contraction and expansion,
the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated
as bird wings.
Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)
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Hi mommy!
I’m so sorry about Steve, I know I haven’t been supportive but I really am sorry and I love you so much. I am so proud that you are still strong and still moving on with your life. You have so much love and I admire you for that!
I LOVE YOU!
Hello Joy.
I am sorry to here about your loss, but am truly touched by your writing. For me life is so fast paced at times, I forget about the important stuff. Family, friends, human relationships, and of course a good ride on a summer night to clear my head (like tonight). Through you and Chris I have learned to smell the crisp night air and be awake to what’s important. Even if I have to check back here time and time again to be reminded. I guess it’s the eb and flow of life. Just take a step back, breathe deep, and think about the close connections you have made, and how many lives you have touched by being “Joy” . Oh, and give Chris a hug. Thank you Joy.
I am so sorry for your loss. Recently in one week I experienced the “cycle of life”, baby shower, and birth of a friends beautiful granddaughter, wedding shower and attended beautiful wedding with new beginnings, graduation, fine young man onto a new journey in life, funeral where life as we know it came to an end. Life is hard, it has its trials but along with that it has its beauty and joys. I truly an understanding the concept “don’t sweat the small things in life” , enjoy the people that God brings into your life ! thank you for sharing your thoughts in your blog! corline
Thank you all for your comments. I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!